


we can't have it all

by northernroyal



Series: All That Is Left [2]
Category: A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms, A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alternate POVs, F/M, Lyanna Stark Lives, Other Additional Tags to Be Added
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-11
Updated: 2020-11-11
Packaged: 2021-03-09 19:27:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,512
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27501526
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/northernroyal/pseuds/northernroyal
Summary: Robert's Rebellion has taken hold through out Westeros. With the key players spread across the lands, will peace settle over the land? Or will war rage until nothing is left?
Relationships: Arthur Dayne/Lyanna Stark, Catelyn Stark/Ned Stark, Lyanna Stark/Rhaegar Targaryen
Series: All That Is Left [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2009866
Kudos: 14





	we can't have it all

_ Lyanna Stark _

The silence was starting to overwhelm her. Her whole life had been filled with noise. Winterfell was always bustling with life. Even after Brandon and Ned had first left to be fostered, Lyanna couldn’t seem to get a moment of silence. When she had first come to the tower it had been quite lively as well. Men seemed to always be able to make the most ruckus. Sometimes Ser Gerold would see the lady eavesdropping on the prince’s meetings and would try to quiet the young men, but it never really seemed to work. 

It had been silent when Rheagar and his knights had left for the first time. She was left with Ser Arthur. She knew he didn’t seem to like her much. While he would jest with her and the other knights, he often ignored her without them present. So she spent the next few days trying to make small talk to fill the silence. Even though she usually only got one word answers, it was better than nothing. 

When she saw the sand being kicked in the horizon, she knew the silence was coming to an end. But as the horses got closer and closer, she was able to see the sullen looks on all the mens faces. Even Ser Lewyn, the most lively of the bunch, had a frown on his face. The prince had caught her eye as they got closer. She thought she saw pity in his gaze. She furrowed her brow at that. She had been afraid he was going to send home or worse to Robert. She had begun to walk away from the window to the door, when the prince had raised his hand as if to stop her. He kept his hand raised as he and his men came to a stop. Only Rhaegar had entered the building. Lyanna had thought that was unusual, but still waited in her room for the prince. She had heard him and Ser Arthur speaking outside her door. She had thought he had been dismissing the knight from his post, but when Rhaegar entered the room the knight had remained. The next thing she remembered was hearing screaming, it had taken her a minute to realize the sounds were coming from her. The prince had grasped her shoulders before she was fully able to fall to the ground. She remembered pushing him away before she ran for the door. He had wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her back before she reached the handle. 

She sobbed as Rhaegar whispered softly in her ear. She had wanted to rage against him and fight back, but she couldn’t find the strength. Her pack was irrevocably broken, and she was howling out for her lost brother and father. She would have welcomed the silence if she knew this is how it would end.

When the prince visited next, she had yelled until she thought her voice would be gone. His face had turned angry when she had demanded to leave. She had got an unwanted chill when she heard the venom that had shot out of his mouth. He had left so quickly afterwards, she had thought for a moment she had imagined the awful words that had come out of him. She had continued to look at the spot the prince had occupied until she heard an unfamiliar sound at the door. She knew the words she had heard were true as she ran to the door and found it wouldn’t budge. The silence ended again as she beat and clawed at it until her fingers had started to bleed. 

She spent the next few days yelling at whichever knight that had had the misfortune of standing guard. They all looked at her with pity. She hated that look. It's how everyone had looked at her after her mother died. It’s how Brandon and Benjen had looked at her after father had announced her betrothal to Robert. It’s how Princess Elia had looked at her when Rhaegar had crowned her the queen of love and beauty. She didn’t need pity. So she screamed and yelled and taunted the men until that look was wiped from their faces.

Rhaegar’s looks were worse. He didn’t visit again for a few weeks. So she would “calm down” she presumed. How she wished for silence when he visited. She wished he wasn’t so sweet. She wished she didn’t have to hear his apologies. She wished his honeyed words didn’t make her feel like a person again. Silence was all she wanted when he would come to her bed. But no, he would whisper how beautiful she was, how much he loved her, how special she was, how he would take her far away from Westeros. She wished that he would just shut up and let her hate him. But she couldn’t, not in those moments when it was just the two of them. She would hate him later, in the aftermath when the silence consumed them both. When she realized she was nothing more than a means to an end to him. But on those dark nights when he visited and only the moonlight illuminated the room, she let herself believe she wasn't a prisoner. She let herself believe she was in love with the man who entered her bed. In the moonlight, the tender touches and soft moans made her feel less alone.

Her days get loud again after Rhaegar visits her rooms. His meetings with his knights get longer and the raised voices almost always reach her at the top of the tower. But she doesn’t eavesdrop anymore. Most of the time she thinks of her brothers and that usually makes her want to cry. But she won’t. Brandon would have laughed at her if he knew how much she had been crying. So she plots instead. 

She even had a solid plan, but then she started to get sick. Throwing up morning, noon, and night. It took her two weeks to figure it out. 

She didn’t tell the prince. 

She still had a plan and was going to follow through. She had thought she was hiding it well, that she had been quiet enough. One of his knights must have told him. Because the next time he visits her isn’t in the dead of night. It’s in the morning right after she has thrown up, she hadn’t even had a chance to clean up before he storms into her rooms. He had looked shocked, like he didn’t quite believe what his knight had told him. The silence came back again, and it was deafening. She stood frozen to the ground as shock turned to confusion and then anger. The secret she thought she was pretty good at hiding finally came out of the prince’s mouth in a harsh tone, “You’re with child.”

The silence ends with an interrogation. The prince asks question after question barely letting the lady answer. After he was satisfied with her answers, his whole demeanor changed. His tight-lipped frown turned to a soft smile as he caressed her nonexistent baby bump. He whispered, “A girl, I think.” before he pressed a soft kiss on her lips. Lyanna was frozen in place as she tried to keep up with the prince’s ever changing emotions. He had left after that. It was the last time she saw Ser Lewyn and Ser Oswell. The rest of her days are spent with Ser Arthur and Ser Gerold. Ser Gerold tried to keep her spirits up, but soon the days started to grow more quiet. 

They fought the next time that the prince visited. She yelled about his promise to take her to Essos and he called her naive. She screamed until her throat felt raw. He slammed the door and called her a child. She didn’t see him again.

Two moons after that Ser Gerold left too. The silence becomes louder than ever. The lady soon started to cry herself to sleep. After the first few nights, Ser Arthur began to try to start up conversations with the lady. She knew he just felt sorry for her, but she was grateful even if the conversation were mostly bare and the knight could barely stand to look at her. 

Her water broke one moon later. When she told knight as much, she almost began to laugh at how fast he had moved. She hadn’t thought she had seen him ride as fast as he did that day. It was hours later before he returned with a midwife. Her screams soon pierced the silence of the night. When they had finally ended, the silence began to last too long.

“What’s going on? What’s wrong with my baby?” Lyanna shrieked as she finally looked down at the older woman who was holding her babe. She began to panic. The babe wasn’t making any noise as the midwife wrapped it up in a blanket.

“Nothing, nothing at all. Your son is perfectly fine.” the older woman said as she smiled at the lady. As she handed her the babe, Lyanna felt as if time had slowed down. After she was able to see the steady rise and fall of his chest, she looked into his eyes and found them staring back at her. Lyanna had never felt so comfortable in silence as she did in that moment.

It was hours later, after the midwife had left and the baby had fallen asleep, that Ser Arthur entered the room again. He came in with a bit of food, it was then that Lyanna realized it was already daylight out.

“Thought you might be a little hungry” Ser Arthur said as he placed a small plate on the side table. Lyanna shot him a grateful smile as she adjusted the babe in her arms. As she looked at the knight, she noticed a soft look on his face. It wasn’t exactly a smile, but there was an openness there that she had never seen before. She looked away before he could catch her staring. As she looked down at her babe, she was again struck by how much he looked like a Stark. His grey eyes slowly opened as Lyanna stroked his chubby cheek. They almost brought a tear to her own. Everytime she looked into them she saw her brothers, her pack, reflected back at her. “Have you named the lad yet?” the knight asked. She furrowed her brow at the question. She wouldn’t give him a Targaryen name. It wouldn’t suit him. After nine moons in her belly and only one day in her arms, she already knew he was a Stark through and through. But she also had to think rationally. If Rhaegar lost against Robert, they would have to leave Westeros. She couldn’t be sure that Robert would be merciful to her babe. Back in what seemed like lifetimes ago at Lord Whent’s Tourney, she had heard him call the young prince and his niece and nephew “dragonspawn.” Would he think the same of her boy? She wouldn’t take the chance. She had to give him a simple name, something that wouldn’t draw attention.

Finally she broke the peaceful silence that had settled over the three, “Jon, I think.” She had a soft smile as the babe grasped her finger. She thought she caught the beginning of a frown out of the corner of her eye. But it was gone quickly, as the knight stood from his spot at the end of the bed and cleared his throat. He nodded his head as he began to speak.

“It’s a strong name.” He looked nervous as he shifted his balance and grasped the bedpost in one hand. “I’ve received a raven. Prince Rhaegar is set to meet Baratheon in open combat at the Trident.” He had a deep set frown as he paused, “The usurper is gaining more favor than the prince would like.” The lady interrupted before he could continue.

“What does that mean for us? Are we leaving soon? To Essos, right?” Lyanna felt hope begin to build as she waited for the knight’s response. If Robert was gaining favor, they would need to leave soon. If he beat back Rhaegar’s forces, it would take no time at all for some Storm Lord to “rescue her.” She didn’t notice how the knight’s frown deepened at her hopeful voice. She finally lifted her head after the silence had begun to feel uncomfortable. She then noticed the clench in his jaw and the hard look in his eyes. His tone was sharp as he began to speak.

“Prince Rhaegar still has the upper hand. We will wait for his word before we make any plans.” his fists were clenched as he stormed out of the room.

Days had passed without a single word spoken between the pair. That’s when the silence had started to overtake her. Two weeks had passed before they had finally received word from the prince. She had seen the rider before Ser Arthur had. She yelled his name after seeing the sand cloud that was making its way toward the tower. He had had a sour look on his face as he entered her rooms until he looked out the windows himself. His hand had automatically gone to his hip where his sword usually rested. Finding it missing, he raced down the stairs to his room and quickly made his way out of the tower. 

Lyanna wasn’t able to make out any of the exchange between the two men except for the passing of a letter. Ser Arthur waited until the rider had left before breaking the seal on the parchment. She noticed the straightening of his back as he crumpled the paper and made his way back to the tower. As she made her way towards the stairs to question the knight, Jon began to whimper from his cradle. It had taken longer than she had expected to get him to settle. The sun had already begun to set before she was able to question the knight. He pulled open his door before she even had a chance to knock. She was able to catch his look of surprise before he quickly schooled it into a slight frown and furrowed brows.

“Did you need something?” he asked in a brisk manner. She raised one brow back at him. She had told him of the rider. She had seen the letter. Obviously she wanted to know its contents.

“Was the rider from Rhaegar? Is there any news?” she questioned in a tone more aggressive than she had intended.

His nostrils flared before he let out a sigh, “We leave for port soon. Start packing, the sooner we leave the better.” His knuckles were white as he closed the door. She waited until she was back in her rooms before she let herself softly smile. She began to quietly hum as she rocked her son to sleep, she found silence wasn’t so bad after all.

**Author's Note:**

> If you want to see a certain characters POV be sure to comment, right now i'll be switching between Lyanna, Ned, Robert, and Ashara


End file.
